Hello my little weather chums. Here we are with a flying update designed to keep you all in the picture, courtesy of a cursory look at the charts over at Netweather.tv (to whom once again we are inordinately indebted). I did have a magnificent forecast all prepared for you. It was beautiful. it contained hilarious jokes about how we'd sacrificed Belinda from accounts to examine her entrails & intimations that we ate her at the barbeque afterwards. It had comedy references to festival related things that you would have loved.

I lovingly crafted this incredible forecast with my own bare hands, despite the fact that I very much wanted to play with my new sack trolley, which is utterly beautiful & makes tremendously light work of carting our heavy new tent across what will be nice soft festival ground thanks to the rainfall of the past week or so. Then my work e-mail inbox decided it was too full, and instead of being able to post it in all it's glory I'm having to write this all again.

Frankly, I can't really be bothered, because I'm far too excited. I have my ticket, sod the weather, who cares? Oh all right then, I know you want it.

It's going to be a bit 'bleugh'. There, that should cover it. All you need to do is re-arrange the forecasts from previous weeks, chop & change which are going to be dry days & which are going to be damp & there you have it. We've got low pressure to start with that'll make it damp on Wednesday & probably Thursday too. This moves over to Scandinavia by Saturday, but manages to hold off the high pressure over the Azores so nothing really alters much.

It will be damp, it will be quite breezy at times which will make it feel chilly, but inbetween the very light showers it could be sunny & nice, & the breeze might just be enough to dry out the grass. Our tramping feet will make it muddy in places tho even with very little rain, so if you're not arriving til later in the week be prepared for a bit of squidgyness on your way to whichever campsite you prefer.

Things do look to improve towards the weekend, with even lighter drizzly showers & more sunshine, but there's also the prospect of some thundery stuff, which mght turn out just to be rumbles in the distance but could also give us short sharp soakings from time to time.

Do we care? No! Because we have tickets. This time next week you'll be able to say "I was there". This time next week you might be able to say "what a load of arse that forecast was". You could even take solace in the fact that the BBC were suggesting this morning that Thursday could be dry & sunny at times, which is very different to what most of the other forecasts suggest.

You could also ignore the outpourings of millions of pounds worth of computer, satellite & met station data, and the combined efforts of Eavis only knows how many degrees & PhDs and take solace in the following. A, well, let's just say 'friend' over at Mindlessbanter.net met up with a weather geek. This weather geek told her that after a damp start the weather will be "gurt lush". So there you are, all that technology & scientific know how versus the dewy eyed gushing of someone who's gone moist you-know-where at the brown-eyed husky voiced bedroom talk of someone whose idea of a chat-up line is "yeah actually I'm a weather geek".

Finally, GlastoFestivalForecast would like to add its congratulations to Michael Eavis, Commander of the British Empire. Sir, we salute you and await your bidding.